Things that make you laugh your ass off - Hang Gliding Org - Worlds largest Hang Gliding community, discover Hang Gliding

Search

  • Sorry...You must register to activate searching









Post new topic   Reply to topic    Hang Gliding Org Forum Index -> The camp fire->Things that make you laugh your ass off
BURY this topic
View previous topic :: View next topic  
st1lgar
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 25 Jan 2011
Posts: 343
Location: Oak Ridges, ON

PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 8:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3301   

Link

_________________
"Men were not meant to leave the Earth. Spend too much time in the clouds and you never want to come back down again. I know skinchangers who've tried hawks, owls, ravens. Even in their own skins, they sit moony, staring up at the bloody blue" -- Hoggon
George R.R. Martin
Send private message Blog  Rate this post
atag
2 thumbs up
2 thumbs up


Joined: 18 Mar 2011
Posts: 53
Location: Oakland, CA

PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3302   
st1lgar wrote:

Link


Just listening, I could swear they were saying "Ed Levin" in the lift.

Even the scots are learning that lift refuses to go to Ed Levin.
Send private message  Rate this post
Jason
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 7533
Location: Stapleton, Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3303   
Wiener Dog


Media BLOCKED

Please REGISTER
and log in to see this content

_________________
TSA, DHS, NDAA and SOPA Seig Heil!
Send private message  Rate this post
Hangskier
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 10 Jan 2011
Posts: 852
Location: Eastern NC, USA

PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 6:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote #3304   
Wonder how high this will go!


Media BLOCKED

Please REGISTER
and log in to see this content

_________________
Aspiring Pilot for LIfe and Focused
1st Flight/Solo Nov 1993
Send private message Blog  Rate this post
UnTuckable
1 thumbs up
1 thumbs up


Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 2318

PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3305   

Link


/fail
Send private message  Rate this post
UnTuckable
1 thumbs up
1 thumbs up


Joined: 31 Jan 2008
Posts: 2318

PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 9:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3306   

Link


Pachyderm punch
Send private message  Rate this post
Fred Wilson
1 thumbs up
1 thumbs up


Joined: 03 Apr 2009
Posts: 1545
Location: Vernon BC Canada

PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote #3307   
Short Final...

When communications run afowl...

(Overheard May 15, 2004.)

Tower: Landing traffic, be advised that there's still a turkey on the runway.

Pilot (speaking immediately): Tower, Cessna ### clear of the active.

Tower: Thank you ... (laughter) ... but I meant the real turkey.

From http://www.avweb.com/eletter/archives/avflash/245-full.html#187421
_________________________________


_________________
Thermaling Tips + Cross Country Coaching Manuals + RASP Wiki
____________________

Avatar:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Vuelo-Libre-M%C3%A9xico/111894915509032?ref=ts&fref=ts
Send private message Blog  Rate this post
Fred Wilson
1 thumbs up
1 thumbs up


Joined: 03 Apr 2009
Posts: 1545
Location: Vernon BC Canada

PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 11:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3308   
Fulls Forked Up Funnys:







_________________
Thermaling Tips + Cross Country Coaching Manuals + RASP Wiki
____________________

Avatar:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Vuelo-Libre-M%C3%A9xico/111894915509032?ref=ts&fref=ts
Send private message Blog  Rate this post
HangDiver
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 2075
Location: Salida, Villa Grove, Colorado

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote #3309   
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive. The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

_________________
http://hangdiver.blogspot.com/
Send private message  Rating: 3 thumbs up
day dreamer
2 thumbs up
2 thumbs up


Joined: 04 Dec 2007
Posts: 3748
Location: McClure Pilot

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote #3310   
HangDiver wrote:
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive. The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
Always a student.

"The mountain doesn't care what that card in your wallet says." - Bruce Stobbe
Send private message  Rate this post
day dreamer
2 thumbs up
2 thumbs up


Joined: 04 Dec 2007
Posts: 3748
Location: McClure Pilot

PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote #3311   

Link

_________________
Always a student.

"The mountain doesn't care what that card in your wallet says." - Bruce Stobbe
Send private message  Rate this post
Fred Wilson
1 thumbs up
1 thumbs up


Joined: 03 Apr 2009
Posts: 1545
Location: Vernon BC Canada

PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3312   

_________________
Thermaling Tips + Cross Country Coaching Manuals + RASP Wiki
____________________

Avatar:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Vuelo-Libre-M%C3%A9xico/111894915509032?ref=ts&fref=ts
Send private message Blog  Rate this post
jjcote
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 01 Dec 2007
Posts: 3216
Location: Lunenburg, MA, USA

PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3313   
tl;dr

simplified version:

_________________
H4 + various skills (only foot-launch so far)
WW UltraSport 147, WW Falcon2 170, PacAir Vision Mark IV 17
My HG wiki profile and my flying blog
Send private message Blog  Rate this post
Jason
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 7533
Location: Stapleton, Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3314   
grammar


Media BLOCKED

Please REGISTER
and log in to see this content

Media BLOCKED

Please REGISTER
and log in to see this content

_________________
TSA, DHS, NDAA and SOPA Seig Heil!
Send private message  Rate this post
Jason
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 02 Jan 2007
Posts: 7533
Location: Stapleton, Colorado

PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 8:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3315   
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kl1ujzRidmU[/youtube]
_________________
TSA, DHS, NDAA and SOPA Seig Heil!
Send private message  Rate this post
kukailimoku
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 14 Dec 2010
Posts: 586
Location: Oahu, Hawaii

PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3316   
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to
the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper
Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk
shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all
that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would
all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to
convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found
him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of
God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to
give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both
legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you
KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And
then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted
nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him
and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as
a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in
a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors
running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ....circumcision may not
have been the best way to start."

_________________
Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of congress.
But I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain
Send private message  Rate this post
LadyHawk
2 thumbs up
2 thumbs up


Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Posts: 297
Location: Daly City, CA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3317   
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Send private message Blog  Rate this post
LadyHawk
2 thumbs up
2 thumbs up


Joined: 30 Sep 2008
Posts: 297
Location: Daly City, CA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote #3318   
The ULTIMATE in Women's Body Piercing...

Biggest turn on for guys!

Men all over the country are urging their wives and sweethearts to get this 'chic' procedure.

The going rate in Canada now exceeds $10,000. Most men feel it is worth it.



Media BLOCKED

Please REGISTER
and log in to see this content
Send private message Blog  Rate this post
red
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 13 Aug 2007
Posts: 2741
Location: Utah, USA . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sol III

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:20 am    Post subject: Things that make you laugh your ass off Reply with quote #3319   
Campers,

So this guy decides to put some thrills into his life, and takes up skydiving. All goes well for a few weeks,
but he's still learning. One day, he makes jump, and when he pulls the ripcord, nothing happens.
He tries to deploy the reserve parachute, but again, nothing happens. He feels amazingly calm, and looks downward
at the approaching clouds. He is surprised to see somebody else, flying UP through the clouds.

As the skydiver is giving the ripcord a few final tugs, they pass by each other in mid-air.

"Do you know anything about parachutes?" the skydiver calls to the ascending man.

"No, not really," calls back the ascending man, "but do you know anything about gas camping stoves?"

Mr. Green

_________________
Cheers,
........Red.........................
Pssst! New pilot? Free advice, maybe worth the price,
http://www.xmission.com/~red/
H4, Moyes X2, Falcon Tandem, HES Tracer, Quantum
Send private message  Rate this post
HangDiver
3 thumbs up
3 thumbs up


Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Posts: 2075
Location: Salida, Villa Grove, Colorado

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote #3320   
Lipstick trick
http://www.heaven666.org/embed/58709

_________________
http://hangdiver.blogspot.com/
Send private message  Rate this post
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Hang Gliding Org Forum Index -> The camp fire
 
All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3 ... 165, 166, 167 ... 192, 193, 194  Next
Page 166 of 194


 
Jump to:  


(c) HangGliding.org All rights reserved. Based on PhpBB