This is Cal's wife, Diana. Gentlemen of the Org I am so proud of you for stepping up and letting this young man know that this is not right. I love the respect you show for your partners and children
This letter is a private, heart felt plea. I am so glad that you told him how it is. Life is about balance and family and joy and passion and love and work and time together and so very much. As a wife of a wonderful man, who handglides, I can understand her flustration. But my husband makes time for me and our children, who are grown now. I am so grateful for him and his love. The wisdom you gentlemen have shared with him is Priceless.
You were and are a HG pilot, from the moment you first picked a glider up. Some of the best pilots in the world will share with you, that knowing when to back down is a trait earned, learned or acquired through hard knocks.
I feel all of us here want the best for you. You are learning quickly in your journey of flight. And I'm sure your also finding that the flying part is easy.
It's the stuff, while we are on the ground, that requires the most skill and discipline.
I won't tell you what to do. I would suggest also, that out of respect for your fiance', that you try not to take what is personal and intimate to her, too lightly.
Wish you the best
p.s. Congratulations to You, Beverly and your awaiting Baby.
if you love her,give her what shes asking for.I live a lonely life because of hg but i will find someone else to live for someday,i hope.When this world goes to s***,family is all you have to depend on.
If you don't take it down (or edit it down) at least be sure to tell her you shared it with us other pilots in relationships so you could get some feedback.
I have three kids, 16, 13, and 4....and a wife and an exwife(not because of HG, she was just a mistake)....I was scared I would lose HG when that first one came, backed off some, then came back, when the second one came I wasn't scared but backed off a little, and this last one I didn't blink an eye. But I do fly less and less, there is just too much going on for me to feel ok taking all the time it takes to go fly. I have, and while in the air I just feel bad for being there and not with my family anyway..kind of "sad flying" if you will...
I have a question for you....
My wife read this with me and now she doesn't feel so bad as she saw some have it worse then me and are gone more than they should be also....(I took the saturday before mothers day off to fly and got hell for it (we only had half a day to spend on "the day" but gee wizz))
Like Jay said, a big part of the problem is understanding of the inconsistency of flying hang gliders (unless towing) but we can't just take every tuesday and think we will get to fly at least once a week (like I try to sometimes) because the weather sucks after we take off work and just sit around and party with our buddies.
I'm trying to only go when I know I will be able to fly now, not when I think it will get good enough to fly ...but it's SOOOOO hard to sit and watch others setup on a webcam while I have to work.....(and now we will get to see the McClure crowd sky out daily....just great)...
Did you find Hang Gliding before or after you found her? If before, did she realize your passion for it? If after did you guys work any "conditions" out about how much "time" you could have doing HG??
Now you all know why my videos are so long, because I miss flying and need them to sustain me....those tiny little two min vids just don't do it.
I was wondering where you've been and now understand more of the picture...
Not sure if she has popped out yet, or where you are having her but I was able to actually "catch"/hold/grab/slip...my last little girl as she came into this world...your life is about to change buddy....the love for that sport2 is about to be trumped.
Wingman, I think your best bet is to get out now. She opened the door, now you just need to put one foot in front of the other.
You're not even married yet and she's this controlling? Get out now. It's only going to get worse. Sounds like she has another kid from a previous relationship. Get out now. Find the right girl and make a REAL family. This one is doomed. She'll have you by the balls via your wallet for the next 18 years, but it will be worth it. Linger and the result will be the same minus a house.
Wing man, you're on the brink with this relationship. Your partner has recognised this and she has taken the time to write a well thought out letter to you. You and your partner cannot live on the brink and be good parents to your children. You need to have a serious grown-up conversation with your partner. You appear to feel differently about what is happening in your relationship. That is fine. Everybody is their own person, everybody has their own priorities, feelings.
You have to be open and honest about how you feel about her and your unborn child, and how you feel about hang gliding. Write her a letter. Think about it. Be honest. Be an adult. Deal with the consequences.
Back when I met my wife I flew sailplanes, lived for it, loved it. But when we got married she got pregnant within 4 months. I made a decision to quit flying and be a father. We have now been married 31 years with 3 wonderful sons 3 great daughter in laws and 5 grandkids.
There is nothing more important than your children and wife, once my kids were raised I went back to flying and am now a rated sport pilot WSCL and hang glider pilot. I kkep my trike hangered at KLHM and my hang glider in my garage. My wife gives me all the time I want to fly because over the years I've proven to her that her and the children always came first.
As you get older you realize what is important in life and the day will come when all I'll have left is my wife and kids as age takes it toll.
Be a man of goodness sakes, you fathered a child, now step up to the plate and be a dad to that child, the rewards far exceed anything you'll ever get from hang gliding and sooner or later you'll have all the time you want to fly.
Fly safe _________________ H-3 FL FSL ST
Sport Pilot Antares 582 Trike
USAF 74/78 and USAFR 88/90 and proud to have served
Don't die until you're dead and in the mean time keep your eyes on Jesus
Being a safe hang glider pilot requires, among other things, an ability to think ahead and plan well. And good judgment. _________________ H4 + most skills
WW U2 145, WW UltraSport 147, WW Falcon2 170, PacAir Vision Mark IV 17
My HG wiki profile and my flying blog
Last edited by jjcote on Sat May 21, 2011 11:17 am; edited 1 time in total
I'm tempted to say you are a victim of AIDS- Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome...
But by the way you've chosen to respond to this letter, I don't think it's the flying at all. It's your priorities. Just here you prioritized sharing this letter on hg.org over what your fiance would feel about you sharing it.
I haven't even been married a year yet... so not sure I can say I've walked in your shoes. But YOU chose to be engaged... YOU got your fiance pregnant... life is the choices we make- and we have to live by those choices.
Another thing- hang gliding, that is- piloting weight-shift-controlled aircraft- is all about BALANCE. In the literal sense, but also the figurative one. My humble suggestion is that you NOT wear this letter as a badge of honor, but as a mark of shame. You have no balance. Without balance you WILL NOT have a happy marriage, and (I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS PART, BECAUSE IT SEEMS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THAN THE FORMER) you will NEVER be a very good hang glider pilot.
All my .02 _________________ (trashing the entire site in a sig after you leave..... poor form )
half of my hg fun is coming home and discussing the flying fun with my Wife, i hope i equally listen to her with her interests, well ok, she is a lot better at it than i but she knows i try, as others have said raising children, well ok, i have never been good raising my children, thank goodness my wife was, lets call it having a blast with them, i loved it, couldn't wait to get home from work and go have a great time with them, then they grew up and one by one found the man of there lives, it tore my heart in two when we married off our last daughter, we still have great times and laughs !
i hope you can work it out and have the time your life, oh and once in while i can get them to watch my HG videos
i will bet you can work out something that you both agree to, i live in two worlds and love both of them, i know you will to, doesn't mean you will not have problems to work out, marriage and raising children isn't easy but it is the most rewarding ! _________________ Explore nature from the eyes of an Eagle